Indie Author Insights: The Struggle & Reality

Whether your genre is mystery, horror, fantasy, sci-fi—really anything except adult/erotica—almost all indie authors start in exactly the same place: the bare-bones bottom of the totem pole.

Like a lot of writers, I gave my work to friends and family who would review with, "No, I'm not kidding—this is actually really good and you should try to get published." And I figured, well, sure. Let's give it a shot. And started the soul-sucking journey of querying to publishers and agents. I remember I would read the "inspirational" testimonies that said crap like, "Remember! J.K. Rowling was rejected a whole TWELVE TIMES before she found representation." HAHA. ROOKIE NUMBERS.

That's the thing, though. I was prepared for a lot prior. Coming from a design background, I was already very comfortable with critique, and assumed I'd be getting a lot. What I wasn't prepared for is receiving over 200 rejections for two different books with only two of those rejections containing the actual reason why it was rejected. The rest were copy/pasted form rejections that told me absolutely nothing—which meant I had to simply keep slinging queries without having any direction on what to alter.

Then came the clencher: I was not prepared to send all of these queries just to find out in an online archive somewhere that agents only read 5% of the sample content they request to accompany your letter. This whole time I thought I was competing with other authors in my genre for a spot in a publisher's line-up—not at all the case. What I found out was that I was competing in a completely templated environment in which your writing, your plot, your story, your characters were not the end-all subject, and instead, the exact trigger words you use in your letter, the exact format and syntax of your letter, all had to meet these arbitrary requirements just to not be deleted two seconds after opening. THEN your word count, genre, and synopsis were considered. And if they passed the interest test, THEN your sample work (that they effing required me to attach to the email sometimes) got downloaded and opened.

I was immediately disgusted. I couldn't believe that the actual people who managed to land the miracle occupation of getting paid to be introduced to the next potentially viral characters, get invited to someone else's completely life-changing world—people who are as close to REAL magic is one can possibly be—had either been so overworked or undeserving of their titles that they'd figured out a way to NOT do their jobs and have AI do it instead.

"I'm not playing this game," I remember saying after trying to find representation for ABADDON. "I signed up for my prose, my ideas, my world-building, and my characters to be judged—not my ability to ad-grab your attention with Google-able hot words of the week. While your ability to sell your book with blurbs and pitches are a part of querying, the usage of the right words and format just so you make it into the consideration pile is a hoop that I decided was too demeaning to jump through. I had no intention of licking boots and kissing asses to get published. I simply expect my work to speak for itself and do so with honesty.

So began my self-publishing journey. WHICH is a topic for another blog post. For those who were able to bypass the algorithm in favor of the indie-author's demise and found representation—that's truly awesome and I sincerely applaud you. I do! Because I couldn't do it. I failed at that. And I wish you all the success! But for those of us who dove in because we weren't as lucky, didn't know someone, or other what-have-you's, we still deserve someone to look at our stuff, say, "this is great" or "this needs some work." And there are thankfully other avenues to take.

What has your journey been like? Select your social platform of choice from the list in the footer and send me a message there!